Simply Pathetic!

I am a wimp!

Today was a practice day for me to be here and for Abby to be there. Did not like it one bit.

I was supposed to be the parent taking her to WSU for Cougar Day - campus tour, chat with the Communications Dept, BBQ and football game....but instead I had to be home to teach Home Fellowship Group tonight. So, off went Abby and Jon at 4:30 am, and I've been anxiously awaiting a phone call or text ALL DAY LONG!

AND NOTHING!

They have either forgotten their phones (not likely for a teen) or their chargers or Pullman is some podunk town with no T-Mobile coverage. Sometime during their trip home their phone will get into a live area and my texts and messages will grab their attention hopefully.

A friend told me to get used to this. AAAAGHHH - this is very very very difficult to imagine! But there is Abby having all these new impressions and experiences, ones that I feel are more important than the average-time-away-from-home ones, since we're still in such deliberation over where she should go to college....anyhow, if I were there with her I'd be able to debrief and infer and deduce and intuitate....and I can't. Grrr. This is what it looks like to not be in control, nor in touch, nor "simpatico" with the first born.

Next year she'll be somewhere, and I will be here. I won't know her friends. I won't get to debrief after parties or classes. I won't be able to read her face or see her eyes sparkle or shine with tears. I won't be able to see her little toes every day. No goodnight or goodmorning kisses.

I think I already have a chunk of my heart in Pullman and she doesn't even go there yet. I'm home and I'm homesick.

Psalm 139:8-10

If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.