Thanksgiving

6:30 am Thanksgiving morning and the house is still asleep. Time to reflect before the chopping, baking, dish washing and hosting.

• Thankful for my husband. He is such a hard worker, and keeps our home in working order plus food on the table. It is an honor to be his helpmeet - it helps that he is so smart and wise (can't say that for everyone!) and funny and has those cute sparkly eyes. He's a great dad and a man of great integrity...I didn't know when I married him how critical that is!
• Thankful for my kids. They are increasingly enjoyable - they make me proud and they make me laugh. I am proud of their character (honest, diligent, creative, trustworthy) and their accomplishments. They are nice to be around (which is a good thing to say no matter what age you are).
• Thankful for the extended family. Everyone is healthy, and every one is a blessing in their own way. Jon and I are so fortunate to come from families that place their priorities honorably - it's provided such a strong foundation. They are a constant encouragement to us!
  
• Thankful for our church. Our friendships and ministry opportunities have enriched our marriage, family, and personal lives so much. Not simply encouragement for the journey, but challenge and fellowship as well. Thankful for the ministry we receive from being in ministry!
  
• Thankful for our jobs. We completely realize Jon's job is Providential, and are at the Lord's mercy for the continuation of his employment after February. My job as homemaker and homeschooler are also Providential - if Jon's job goes, my job goes! Humbly we ask for that cup to pass, and humbly we look at how I can help, should it not. We are also thankful for the kids' jobs - that is, of being full time students. Education is a privilege and both homeschooling and Running Start have been tremendous blessings to us!
• Thankful for our health. Again, mercy. Again, humble and complete gratefulness. Thankful for not only our immediate family's health, but also the grandparents...how blessed we are to have them involved and active and able to "endure" many visits with us!
• Thankful for our country. This could be a post all on its own. But this year - thankful to know a hero like John McCain and receive inspiration from him...thankful for articulate, bright and capable women like Sarah Palin...and thankful for the chance to exercise my hope muscle that the "change" Obama promises will help get our country out of this economic pit.

Well, Ben's awake now and I hear other Turkey Bowlers rustling around upstairs....so I will sign off.

This time next year - Abby home from college for the weekend! God willing - we'll all be together counting our blessings and adding to them - in Him we trust.

I will praise God's name in song and glorify Him with thanksgiving.
Psalm 69:30

Long Time No Post

Were you raised with the maxim, "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all?"

I think the quote is attributed to Peter Rabbit's mother. Or, my Granny Kay. Either way, the phrase has been an unspoken approach to communication in my life....thus, my silence on my blog over the last few weeks. It was nice to be missed, though! I'll see if I can pick up where I left off.

Over the course of the last month we've had 2 fender benders (my fault), my new van "smashed and grabbed," one mento up and quit on me, and our garage door break (the fixed van is now stuck in the garage until this weekend when Jon fixes the door!). It's been upwards of $1K in unforeseen expenses just in the past couple of weeks, and loads of hassles with mechanics and crippled vans. Of course, the election didn't lift our spirits to compensate! Add in the economy and job insecurity...the list could go on and on.

The net-net (dad phrase there, I think it means "bottom line") is that with each passing day there were stresses that did not lend itself to my writing muse, let's just say that much. :) (see how good I am with my Granny Kay's maxim?)

God has been teaching me quite a bit though. Here are my lessons from Oct/Nov:

• People are more important than things. What caused me tears and unslept nights was the break in the mentor relationship, not the hemorrhaging of cash nor the transportation hassles. The fender bender's grip of terror on me was knowing there were elderly people in the other car, not the scratch of paint or the boatload of cash it took to aright their dent.

• Ministry is a risk, but a necessary one. When God asks you to do something, the important thing on your end is to be obedient. Investing in people - being vulnerable and open and giving and committed does not entitle you to the same from them. It is like any relationship - you might do your best, but that does not guarantee you will receive that in kind. Your heart may be broken. Humans fail each other.
  

• God heals broken hearts. I think instead of super glue, though, God chooses to stitch together broken hearts. With each little piercing of His needle, and each tug of the thread, there is a little pain and anguish. Each poke and tug is His Spirit working in you and showing you things....like, where you went wrong.....like, what His Word says about the situation......and, both the times you were selfish and when you were acting in righteousness. It's as if this healing pain had a purpose - that He does not permit the broken heart to heal without allowing it to make a difference in your life. He uses the balm of His Spirit, but the stitching hurts....when the pain abates, the healing is complete.

• I married the right man. I wonder if this is how it is with my relationship with God too? Is it this way for you - that when things are going so swimmingly, you sorta get independent and think you are handling everything so perfectly on your own? And then in times of despair or sadness you get a dose of God's comfort and you say to Him - "Lord! I love you! I am so grateful for you in my life!!!" Your worship is then more poignant, your devotion more complete? Well, over the past month I've brought my brokenness to God and Jon, and was sweetly touched by Jon's forgiveness, mercy, and tenderness toward me. Imagine two fender benders in less than 24 hours? Imagine! One was cause enough for him to worry....but two? I thought I was going to need to whip out the defibrillator ....but instead all I needed was a big ole box of kleenex for me when he chose to hold and comfort me instead of lecture or scold. Tears still pop up when I recall his grace. Anyhow, it all served to further devote my heart to this man, not because of duty or position, but because of love. Through all the trials of this past month, I think this result of rekindling has been worth it all.
  

So, thus ends my lesson listing. If I were a superstitious woman, I would say "gosh I hope our season of trials can end now because look at how well I've learned the lessons God planned for me!" It does seem like trials come in waves! I am incredibly ready to move on now - I would love to get back into my blessing groove! But I also consider it joy to carry with me my stitched and healing heart, my reignited love for my husband, and my realignment of priorities.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,
because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete,
not lacking anything.
(James 1:2-4)

Phantom: Rethought

Last night I saw "Phantom" for the first time!

Well, saw it for the first time as a gal in my 40's, that is. Technically it was my third time to see it, but as is everything in life, there can be something new to see or learn or experience, based on where you are in life.

Reaction to Phantom in my 20's:

• How cool to be the focus of someone's overwhelming desire, like Christine was to the Phantom.
• My favorite suitor was Phantom over Raoul, based on the mercy rule, the passion rule, of course his prowess on the keyboard and his ability to compose melancholy love songs. Also dug his candle collection, his boat, his mask and his swirly cape....he cuts a very dashing figure!
• Raoul seems a little dull. Doesn't really stoke a girls' fire, ifyaknowwhatimean.
• There's something alluring about being called to the dark side.
  

Reaction to Phantom in my 30's:

• It's a little creepy to be the focus of someone's overwhelming desire.
• Favor starting to tip toward Raoul - what kind of father would the Phantom make? Would he have outbursts of anger in front of the kids - would he noose up the paperboy if he was late with the morning edition of Le Monde? Would he insist on staying in his candlelit lair - could he throw a baseball with PJ (Phantom Junior) or carpool the girls to the mall?
• Christine is starting to look bipolar. (in my 30's I became increasingly paranoid that everyone was secretly bipolar - lol) And I'm pretty sure the Phantom qualifies as "emo."
  
• I'm starting to appreciate Raoul's steadiness, catches of humor, love of the arts, and down to earth take on Little Miss Christine - he knew her as a childhood friend AND as a successful performer....there's a balance there to his love, which is rich.
• There's something dangerous about being called to the dark side.
  

Reaction to Phantom in my 40's:

• Meg is starting to look more interesting as a character. Why doesn't Rauol bag on Christine and go with Meg? She's a supportive friend, loving daughter....she has an inquisitive mind and a courageous spirit - not to mention dancer legs and a lovely voice. What's not to like?
  
• The Phantom needs counseling. This guy has some serious issues from his childhood. He does not need a lover, he needs Jesus and he needs a mother's love and maybe a tiny bit of Prozac. This guy could use some homemade chocolate chip cookies and a cold glass of milk after a rough day at the opera. I feel badly that Christine feels she is his rescuer. Girls - don't marry someone who needs rescuing! Bake him some cookies, pour him some milk, give him warm hugs....and then send him to a counselor. But do not think you have to MARRY him to save him!
  
• Raoul is too good for Christine. Sure, he's "safe" but he's also studly, brave, and can hold his own in a duet. Hard to find better men than that! She is too "drama" to appreciate him.
  
• which leads me to this: Christine is a DRAMA QUEEN! Her mom needed to curb that little girls' tantrums and whims, and needed to open up the Word of God as a way to help her make her choices. You don't go for the pathetic murderer who can sing hauntingly and who has a sexy lair....read Deuteronomy 30:19 as a way to decide who to pick. Also - she needs to know a little about spiritual warfare and fruit of the spirit. Let's see - one guy kidnaps, murders, explodes with anger...the other is protective, kind, gentle (studly!)......Christine is not only a drama queen, she's also a ditz. Dr. Laura would have a field day with her. I think this girl has attention needs, and needs a little 1 Peter 1:13 drilled into her (KJV, please).
• There's something disturbing about being called to the dark side.

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.
For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?
Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
(2 Cor. 14)

End of First Real Week '08/'09

TGIF!

We did it - got to the end of our first Real Week of the school year with everyone in their proper places - piano lessons, college classes, Legacy, basketball, BSF, youth group and the like. My eyes are hazy and crossed as they squint toward the weekend - Ben's worship team auditions, a football game, Katie's gig at the hospital, Mariners Game for the boys, and Phantom for the girls. Oh yes, and somewhere in there we find jeans for Katie! And do church.

I'm enjoying having the girls both gone in the morning. Ben and Dusty are quiet and non-interfering company to keep - I've been able to plunk around doing youth group data entry, and able to research college scholarships with nary an interruption. With the girls both gone it also eliminates more of the run around in the van - gotta love that! Granted, Ben's new piano teacher teaches out of Westlake Center in Seattle, so my Friday mornings just got a little urbanified - can you say WEEKLY SHOPPING EXCUSE? Yes ma'am!

And to wrap up my pathetic post from last week regarding the WSU visit - it went well....ish. Jon convinced Abby to not contact me all day - deliberately - so that went over NOT WELL. NOT WELL AT ALL! Can you say "bouquet of red roses last night" to help smooth my ruffled fur? Can you say Mama Bear moment? It's amazing how after so many years of togetherness (let's see - coming up on 27) we can still miss the mark so badly on showing love, offering forgiveness, effectively communicating, making peace, etc! One would think by now we'd learn by our mistakes and be fairly sliding into home...but....I 'spose until our flesh dies we'll still be looking out for number one now and again, and then have to suffer the consequences. Fortunately, we are getting more infrequent with our flub-ups. I'd like to think a year from now we'll have even less. And I'd like to see in myself more humility, clearer and sweeter communication, and that winsomeness I long for from the Lord. More of Him, less of me.